Ants With Pants

Exerpt from "Ants With Pants", a new children's book:

To begin with, ants with pants are not as mischievous as say, termites with kites, but they can be a problem.

For starters, the pants themselves.

Usually, because ants have legs in proportion to their bodies, the pants tend to be too short. This is troublesome on several levels.

First, it is not easy to hem ants’ pants. You have to be really careful. (More so, say than with human pants. For obvious reasons.)

Second, it is hard to get ants to stand still. (I don’t have to go into detail here. “Ants in your pants” should suffice.)

And, fabric...well, we all know how important feel is to ants. ( As is drape, of course, ...but, I digresss.) You won't find an ant even near a neighborhood smelling of itchy wool. Moths, yes, ants, no. They tend to be much more discriminating.

So, between the hemming, the inherent antsiness and the particularity of the fabric, the task, in and of itself, is enormous. No, Ginormous.

You would think, “Ants With Pants”…easy as apple pie, right?

Not!

(Don't get me started on the pie thing...)

M.E. Garafolo